Donna Lucia's disasterous dress rehearsal

February 16, 2000

Everyone else did quite well, extremely well!!! They were great and overall the production looks darn good. Everyone is completely and totally off book. A few holes here and there, lines dropped like hot potatoes and a number of truly miraculous saves. Everyone nervous but pleased, except moi. My own performance was my very worst yet. I didn't think it was possible to go from such an exhilarating high to a truly down and dirty low depression! I hope it doesn't get any worst than this dress rehearsal.

My entrance set the disastrous tone. Ella and I have to walk through this very narrow passageway onto the stage, right by a riser of seats. We make a very fast entrance and my huge floor length skirt got caught on a nail. It didn't just get caught, it was grabbed and moi was heading for the floor before I pulled free. Ella, the wonderful actor that is she, tried to cover by saying "Oh Auntie are you all right?" "Oh yes my dear." Well, as it turned out I wasn't. By the time we swept onto the center of the stage I knew something was very wrong with my dress. The costume designer stopped the show, "Oh no, this isn't going to work. She's going to get hurt." The nail has pulled a very long length off lace off the hem of my skirt and, unbeknownst to me, was wrapped around my foot. A couple more steps and I would have taken a header for sure. She ran on stage, untangled my foot and started repairing the dress. Rather than crack my usual joke routine, I just stayed quiet and tried to concentrate. Talk about an unnerving experience. I now have an inkling of how a solo violinist feels when they break a string in the middle of a performance.

We made our entrance again, but I just didn't have it. No energy, broken concentration, little control, flustered, but I got through the scene, without dropping any lines, somewhat keeping the pace. Ella thought our timing was off and I agreed. I was devastated, but we had to keep going.

I think part of the reason I was depressed before we even went on was because there were only a couple of people in the audience. A number of people had been invited but it seemed no one showed. Weather perhaps? I thought, all this work and no one is coming to see us! That's the point of the whole story, isn't it?

My next disastrous scene was in Act III, when I entertain "the ladies" with an amusing joke while the gentlemen are entertaining themselves off-stage. Just as I was about to begin the story, the entire tray of china and coffee service that Brasset was trying to maneuver crashed to the ground right next to me. Everyone jumped about a foot and we all looked in horror at the mess. Again Ella did a beautiful cover, "Oh Brasset are you all right?" Amy came running over to help clean up the mess. "Oh Amy, you're such a dear sweet girl," I thought knowing that Donna Lucia would never get down and pick up broken china. "Well, now that you have that in hand, let me tell you my story." But I had lost it by then. I was completely unnerved. For the first time (okay maybe the second...all right more than that) I lost my place, botched my lines, forgot the punch lines and at one point, almost in tears of frustration, almost almost almost said, "Forget! Let's start over." I caught myself just in time, put my chin up and tried very hard to finish my lines. Thank goodness the rest of the girls laughed at the joke like they thought it was the funniest thing since slipping on a banana peel.

Everyone else was doing well, some incredible!!! Back stage I just sort of collapsed. Ella came in after her romantic scene with Babbs pretending to gagged to death since she had dropped half of her lines. All "the boys" however were doing great! Our leading man not only knew all his lines, but was doing a great acting job. At least someone was going to carry this show.

The final scene I have my last bit which came off very well. I had been thinking about a couple of nuances I wanted to put into it and they seemed to work.

Afterwards, backstage, I was collecting my props and costume to take back upstairs when the director came in. I was almost in tears I was so upset.

"I was horrible. I've never been so bad."
"No, it wasn't your best, but you saw it through. Now you know that every performance will not perfect, BUT you saw it through."

Back upstairs I struggled out of my costume. It needed more alterations. The petticoat was horrible, tripping me up. The bodice felt like a torture jacket. Almost every male cast member (well those in their 20's) make some remark about my black bra that kept slipping out of the lace sleeve. My chocolate cake costume was feeling more like a dung pile! How could I go from one of my best performances to a complete and total turkey!!! Whatever was going to happen on opening night with a real audience? What about this costume? My lungs and sinuses were in a mess from all the hair spray. You wouldn't believe the amount of hair spray being squirted about in the dress room! Time to go home and have my poodle snuggle up with me in bed. Tomorrow is opening night.

Yours also having a bad hair day,
Suzanne & Cassis (That's okay, I'll make her feel better!)

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